Not feminism: Oh my God, that woman is wearing make-up and high heels! She can't be a feminist. She's just adhering to the patriarchal expectations of femininity! What a traitor to her gender.
Not feminism: I hate men! Women are so much better than men! All men are rapists and we don't need their help! Men are just there to oppress us and keep us down! Women are the superior gender.
Not feminism: You're giving up your career to have a baby? You're being dictated to by a man! That's the wrong choice! You've slept with twenty men? Wow, way to show that you have no respect for yourself.
Feminism: Women and men are equal. No-one should be discriminated against on the basis of their gender. Women have the right to decide how to live their life, how to dress, what to do with their body and who to love.

You don’t have to end up with people who self destruct. Go find a lover who will never leave. Fear of abandonment, self hate, and discontent will go away when you let yourself grieve and forget about me, forget about me, forget about me.

Kimya Dawson, I Will Never Forget.


Feminism is having a wardrobe malfunction.

Does your brand of feminism remove barriers for women, or simply move them around? Does is expand options for women, or does it just shift them? You don’t liberate women by forcing them to choose option B instead of option A. What is comfortable for you might not be comfortable for someone else, and it’s entirely possible that what you see as oppressive, other women find comfortable or even downright liberating.

Before you think the girl in the middle is a strawman, let me tell you I used to be her, back in my misguided youth. I considered myself the standard to which other people should adhere. But that was stupid. It’s not up to me to tell people how to dress, and it’s much nicer to let everyone choose for themselves.

Some women would feel naked without a veil. Some women would find it restrictive. Some women would feel restricted by a bra. Some women would feel naked without one. Some women would feel restricted by a tight corset. Others love them. Some wear lots of clothes with a corset. Some only wear the corset and nothing else. What makes any article of clothing oppressive is someone forcing you to wear it. And it’s just as oppressive to force someone not to wear something that they want to wear.